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Jelly, jelly so fine

Friday, October 23, 2009

Burn the Bible?



Nice to know that some things never seem to go out of fashion in the south. South Carolina has been in for its share of ridicule lately and not to be outdone, its neighbor to the north wants a piece of the looney action. On Halloween, Canton, North Carolina's Pastor Marc Grizzard is going to have an old fashioned book burning. Not just any book - the bible, or more specifically any bible that is not the infallible, preserved, inspired, inherent word of god, one hunnerd percent gen-u-ine King James Version.

Plus feel free to toss in anything written by noted satanists like James Dobson, Mother Theresa, Rick Warren, Billy Graham, George Bush, Barack Obama, Sarah Palin and Robert Schuller. God bless you Reverend, you keeping us one step ahead of the alpaca lips.

The book fry will be accompanied by some of that good ol' carolina vinegar chopped pork, sloppy joes and Miss Elvira Finch's lovely rhubarb pie.

Any time you red staters see fit to secede from this here union, we all'l help you fetch yer stuff, hear.

News breaker: Haywood County Assistant Fire Marshal Johnny Glance has informed Grizzard that North Carolina law restricts outdoor fires to “vegetative matter in its natural state,” throwing cold water on Grizzard’s plans to burn copies of the Bible, books by religious authors and music by contemporary Christian and gospel artists on Oct. 31.
“I told him that (burning books) would be against the law,  he said he didn’t want to break the law.”
Glance said that Grizzard plans to destroy the books by other means, possibly by cutting them up.
The county fine is $25 and the state fine can top $25,000.


Ain't no law on cuttin up books, it just don't sound so dad gum good, know what I mean? If Andy Taylor was still back there in Mt. Pilot, he and Barn would know how to handle this'un for sure.




Opernplatz, Berlin - 1933














I truly don't want to bag on southerners, stupid people or christians, this is one guy with a small church who wants to get some press. I think that what rankles is the square jawed intolerance, the ...(self censored) The idea of burning books is so Orwellian. (or is it Bradburian?) The ramifications of cutting books has not been fully explored, to my knowledge. But hands gonna get mighty tired from cuttin... I'll tell you.

13 comments:

grumpy said...

burn baby burn, who gives a jumpin' jehosephat, let 'em toast whatever they wants, what's it to ya anyhow, seriously, why get yer knickers in a twist over what some folks is doin' down yonder, better they all cook up a mess a poke salad and get they souls right, ya know, sheeet.....

Blue Heron said...

Well gosh Nelson, are you serious? I guess you could make the case for book burning being a free speech issue. Will you admit that burning somebody's spiritual book, whether it be the bible, torah, koran, upanishads or Naked Lunch has to be one of the most disrespectful things that you could ever do to someone. To silence the press by burning its fruit is a very fascistic enterprise. I am surprised by your tolerance.

Blue Heron said...

It seems so fucking unamerican.

grumpy said...

grumpy to you, leave my Christian name outta this; i think you meant to say intolerance; just kidding, ya know? they be wackos doin' crazy sheet ever' day of the week, some nut case defaced by mailbox with the n-word only yesterday, when we gonna wake up?

grumpy said...

America, it died with Bobby and Dr. King in '68, we been pickin' up the pieces since then...

Blue Heron said...

The last rhetorical flourish makes a broad assumption. We aint never gonna wake up. I meant tolerance - you sound very tolerant of their intolerance. The townspeople start the torches, this monster gotta run. Once the fires start - they get cra-z-z-z-z-z-y.

Blue Heron said...

I thought I was the cynic?

grumpy said...

touche, i concede....

NYSTAN said...

...."and you ask why I don't live here....why do you have to ask me that?"
bob dylan said that-

Where is Jim Jones now that we need him most??

Anonymous said...

Y'all police tel mee wadar Alpaca Lips????
donut the preechur bleave 25 fowlsand bux b cheep 4 a deevine insparashun?

Daisy Deadhead said...

Famous old Yippie taunts: "King James was gay!" (Hey, never bothered me if he was!)

Stay tuned for my All Saints Day post...I call out the moralistic, self-righteous Christians...very politely of course. :)

grumpy said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_burning

...for more on this topic.

NYSTAN said...

Finally.....something all your pals agree on!