Black Mercedes driving, no sock wearing, loafer loving voidoids that live in giant stucco monoliths on postage stamp lots and go to oversized churches. Wealthy, living perfect, hermetically sealed lives. It's not who you are, it's what you have. But I digress.
We met at Rainbow Sandals in San Clemente. Cam was a little late and I looked around the place. Ain't no way I am paying a hundred bucks for a pair of sandals. My old ones are only twenty years old and still perfectly functional. I had a lot of time to people watch, my friend being much more tardy than he had indicated he would be.
My first realization was that the majority of the women were not only sporting the same sandals, they had the same nose piercing, the same perfect teeth, same mostly inconspicuous ankle tattoo, same overweight and entitled children and the same matching plastic surgeons. They never do get the damn neck right on the face lift, boobs generally weren't too bad.
Anyway as if you hadn't guessed, I am working my way up to a minor rant. As I was leaving the nondescript concrete mall, which come to think of it looked like every other vague and nondescript concrete mall in the area, I drove up behind this Mercedes.
What's that on the left side of the hatch, does it say Christian edition? It doesn't... A little hard to read but I assure you it does. Now what the heck does that mean? They wouldn't...
Probably a dealer named Christian. The manufacturers can't be marketing special appointment packages for the faithful, can they? The mind races... Just for the hell of it I googled the phrase Christian edition. Egads, we have officially supplanted the fish bumper sticker, the coolest of the cool in Knott's Berry Farmland now proclaim their theological fealty with this more yuppified CE font, some olde version of IM Pell double pica no doubt.
The Christian Edition Chrome Car Emblem by AutoVisionz
The website says: Our chrome Christian Edition Personality Emblem is the shiny way to show the world you've got Jesus. Place the emblem on your car, truck, RV, motorcycle, bible cover, notebook, or anywhere you want.
I don't know about you but I don't drive around with a star of david on my car, I don't know many buddhists who are rocking the great wheel of compassion sticker or zoroastrians with their fire or cow sticker or even a fiery cow sticker. Most people find it crass to try to make dough off your spirituality or place of worship. You don't have to show the world you've got Jesus. Show the world that you are a nice person. Don't need to rub your piety in anyone else's face. Low class in any language.
I purposely don't give my business to those establishments that sport grossly oversize fish. Figure they are making a purposeful tribal statement and I may not exactly be welcome.
I may certainly not be the most worldly guy but I get around. I never see the ostentatious show me your religion thing like you see it in Southern California. We get it, we aren't in your club. You don't see it in Oregon, Seattle, New York, Florida anywhere else that I go. Even in Arizona you don't see it like this. But it goes with Orange County like Skippy super chunk goes with a cold glass of milk. Or Mickey goes with Minnie. Take your pick.
I don't blame AutoVisionz either. Could be a bunch of yids for all I know. Ain't easy to make a buck these days. And if religion isn't your bag, they sell this one too.
Think I could get a good deal on both?