Friday, October 2, 2009

Teeing off on Ted



Terrible news out today that employees at the cryonics lab in Arizona that houses Ted Williams severed noggin have been playing t-ball with the poor guy's dome.  A former executive at the Alcor Life Extension facility said that technicians were using the splendid splinter for batting practice, reportedly hitting close to .400 from the right side of the plate.

Williams was never in the best of humor, antagonizing even his own fans in Boston.  If and when the perennial batting champion ever wakes up from his icy purgatory, the perpetrators better make themselves scarce pronto. Reportedly the cranial fungo session was conducted with a monkey wrench.  I am sure that Ted, a purist, would have wanted wood, preferably hickory or ash, to be used for his post season batting regimen.

No truth to the rumors that the guy hit a frozen rope.
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8 comments:

  1. AnonymousOctober 2, 2009 at 10:33 AM

    Yes but it was a craftsmen wrench

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  2. SanoguyOctober 2, 2009 at 11:50 AM

    Monkey "wench"???????????? That offers some very interesting visions!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Blue HeronOctober 2, 2009 at 11:56 AM

    I stand corrected, sharp eye. Thanks for that, Mike. Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my left handed monkey wench...

    ReplyDelete
  4. SanoguyOctober 2, 2009 at 11:58 AM

    Don't start looking in my closet!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousOctober 2, 2009 at 12:24 PM

    I lost $5 over you…. I thought the Ted Williams was bogus………… !!! Truth is stranger than fiction indeed…………………

    Joe K

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousOctober 3, 2009 at 2:43 PM

    I'm beyond the capacity for rational thought...

    and smiling a secret smile.

    rc

    ReplyDelete
  7. Blue HeronOctober 3, 2009 at 7:11 PM

    The story gets slightly weirder today - supposedly the first swing was designed to knock off an empty tuna can that had frozen to the slugger's head. Don't ask...

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousOctober 8, 2009 at 2:42 PM

    I wonder if there is going to be a huge lawsuit and the lawyers will get some M.I.T.geek to electronically hook up Ted's head so he can testify?

    ReplyDelete