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Jelly, jelly so fine

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Stegosaurus Republicanus


Barack Obama is getting a lot of free advice these days from the Republican Party and their minions. The Slime, aka foot fetishist Dick Morris, thinks that hiring Rahm Emmanuel was too confrontational and a bad move. Michael Gerson doesn't want him to over reach. John Boehner is gnashing his teeth and girding for war. David Brooks says, think broadly. The Wall Street Journal said that the President Elect would send a bad sign to an energy starved America by rescinding Bush's last second gift to the oil companies vis a vis the Utah land rape.


Obama has all these new friends who want to give him gratuitous advice about governing from the center - hey dickwads, you lost - get over it - you're not in power anymore - you crammed it down our throats from the most right wing point on the spectrum but now you want to have it your way... Ya'll get the news? - you fellas have done been repudiated. And stick this center right shit - it's a country that embraces the center, not the center right, as you have now discovered with utmost chagrin. I am sure that the President Elect will get in touch with you when and if he needs your advice.  And don't be too concerned.  Liberals will be far more considerate in regards to your policies than you have ever been in the last eight years towards ours.

I think that the collapse/bailout is the new Hurricane Katrina for the Bush Administration. Soon, all the funds will be gone and nothing will have been accomplished except to fatten up the few surviving banks. I used to read a great magazine in the seventies called Coevolution Quarterly. I remember that one edition had an article about starting a new business. It said that the worst thing that could happen to an inchoate startup was to be overcapitalized in the first year because you would piss away money on things that were not really necessary. I feel that this bail out will have a similar outcome. Hope that I am wrong.

Obama was a marxist last week, now according to a freshman congressman from Georgia, he's actually a National Socialist. He's also a fascist too as well as a muslim, according to some brilliant e-mails I have received. Why don't you Einstein's crack open a history book or two and see what these terms you bandy about actually mean? Franco - fascist, Marx - communist (Karl, not Groucho). Hard to be both at the same time but I guess it has happened a few times.

I thought that Hillary had a monopoly on the uneducated white voter, but guess that the GOP has plenty of them as well. Like all the guys who are now hurrying to buy guns because of Obama's super secret plans to take them all away. Or his plans for a secret police force that only answers to him. You know, after he institutes sharia in this country. And project X, of course.

It might get a little uncomfortable for you people in the months and years ahead. Especially you people in the south that don't want a black man "over you" or getting aggressive with the white folk. But I wouldn't worry - he's a hell of a lot smarter than you are.


The Supreme Court just announced that the Navy could go ahead and blast sonar that will potentially deafen whales and dolphins. This underscores the importance of Obama's victory.  Chief Justice John Roberts impressed everyone concerned with his facile grasp of analytic geometry and trigonometry.

"The Navy had agreed to shut down its sonar if marine mammals were sighted within 200 yards. The appeals court’s requirement that it increase the zone to 2,200 yards", Chief Justice Roberts said, “would expand the surface area of the shutdown zone by a factor of over 100” given “the exponential relationship between radius length and surface area.” “Area = pi r squared,” the chief justice explained, using the Greek symbol for pi and a superscript to indicate the squaring of a number. He also discounted the appeals court’s conclusion that the rarity of the temperature condition, “surface ducting,” made restrictions on sonar use acceptable. A quick poll of those present quickly established that no one knew what the hell he was talking about.

He also said that there could conceivably be instances where the rights of animals would not be subordinate to those of humans, he just couldn't think of any. Antonin Scalia, a proponent of originalism, could find no reference to whales, dolphins or large scale pelagics in the constitution and considered the matter moot. Clarence Thomas, in dissent, favored a complete annihilation of all living sea creatures.  

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

While I was shopping in town the other day, I overheard a woman say she was scared now because of the election of a black man. I guess the California public successfully stopped gays from being treated like equal human beings--and still hold on to the idea that blacks aren't.
Gee, that was deep.^

CR