Black crowned night heron © Robert Sommers 2023

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Counting my winnings.

It's been kind of a tough morning. You see I bought a Powerball ticket yesterday and I am worried about how things will evolve when all those ducats come rolling in.

And don't give me all that bullshit about 240 million to one odds. That sucker has my name written all over it.

Do you think a billion and half will change me or my life? Heck no. I will always be the same old guy, even when I have a large household staff and multiple undisclosed residences.

But there will have to be some necessary changes made to keep things copacetic and on the up and up.

First rule, no new friends. I had a few remoras attach to me my last brush with wealth and it was like shedding a nasty parasitic worm with a couple of them. You didn't like the poor Robert, you don't get to eat truffles with the rich bastard.

Two, I don't quit my job. It's not like the door is ever open anyway.

Three, no extravagances. Short of a quick hopover to Patagonia, Antarctica and the Orinoco with a minor detour to Florence, Milan and Porto, of course. I might buy a Rav4 too, probably a barely used one. They have a lot of oversized cup holders, which fit a multitude of camera lenses. Speaking of which, an 800mm Nikon prime telephoto isn't a luxury, it's a necessity.

Four, no nubile personal assistant. The nannies always bring these guys down. I love my wife and we are going to share our newfound fortune with each other and with our ever decreasing social milieu

You may have a hard time getting in touch with us but we will write eventually, don't fret. It is important when you win these things that you sort of drop out of existence for a while, so your family and friends don't think that they have a permanent new meal ticket. Don't worry, we will call you.


Anonymous said...

Buddy, can you spare a ________ ? Personal IOU will be remitted.

Sanoguy said...

You haven't been to coffee for a while... I think you must be practicing for when you have your new found wealth!

Max Hall said...

If you could help me out with the purchase of a little shack in say...Hanalei, that would go along in your humble amigo's goal of simplifying life. Live long and prosper.

Anonymous said...

Hi Robert,

I hope you win.


Blue Heron said...

Max, the South Side is where it's at. ow about something around Lawai or Koloa? Stay out of Haolewood...Of course Kalihiwai would be alright.

Max Hall said...

Kileuea's nice too or Haena...