Wood Duck © Robert Sommers 2026

Thursday, February 18, 2010

More mail

Robert DeGoff sent these along.


Being Jewish...
Q:  What is a Jewish ménage-a-trois

A:  Two headaches and an erection.

Q:  Why did Adam and Eve have a perfect marriage?

A:  He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't  have to hear about the way his mother cooked

Q:  What business is a yenta in?

A:   Yours.

Q:  How do Jewish wives get their children ready for supper?

A:  They put them in the car.

Q:  What is the technical term for a divorced Jewish woman?
A:    Plaintiff


Q:  What does a  Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long?

A:  Nothing at all 

Q:  Define "genius"

A:  An average student with a Jewish mother

Q:  If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?

A:  A fur coat

Q:  What do you call the nipple on a Jewish wife's breast?

A:  The tip of the iceberg

Q:   What mechanical device causes the most arousal in a  Jewish woman?

A:   A Mercedes 550 SL convertible

Jewish proverb: "A Jewish wife will forgive and forget, but she'll never forget what she forgave."

One of life's mysteries - how a 2 Ib. Box of chocolates can make a Jewish woman gain 5 lbs.

Another of life's mysteries is when a Jewish woman hangs something in her wardrobe for a while and it shrinks two sizes!

The trouble with some Jewish women is that they get all excited about nothing; then they marry him.

A Bar Mitzvah is defined as the day when a Jewish boy comes to realize that he is more likely to own a professional sports team than he is to play for one.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Dale Hawkins/Roy Buchanan-My Babe-1957

Mr. Hawkins has recently departed this mortal coil.

Viral Mail Call

Chrome Dog © 2010 Robert Sommers

Somebody sent this today and it happens to be really good. Everyone in the western world will probably have it by tuesday and then it will be trite and oh so passe but I reluctantly post it anyway - whoever wrote it - thanks anonymous one.







1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

 6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
  Person died.

 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

 10. Bad decisions make good stories.

 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper
 that I swear I did not make any changes to.

 14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

 15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times
 and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

 16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

 17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

 18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

 19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

 20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option

 21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

 22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

 23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

 24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

 25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

 26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

 27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

 28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

 29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

 30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate
 cyclists.

 31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

 32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'll bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed,
 first time, every time!




Flying Burrito Brothers - Sin City

There and back again - notes from the northern slog



The northern campaign was a satisfactory affair. In the new recessionary lexicon that means that if a couple of things go right, I will be able to cover my bills this month.  By yesterday's standards it might have sent me scurrying for the sharp objects and anti-depressants but in today's economic reality, it was not too bad.

And while it may have not had a big payoff, I did get to meet some very memorable people. That is probably the best part of my job. I like to engage people. If I didn't I would probably be content to merely play the auction game or throw things up on Ebay.  And a large antique show like Hillsborough is a perfect alembic to mix with interesting folks, dealers and customers alike. Even met a bookie.

I arrived at the show having crashed at Cam and Birgit's pad in Salinas the night before where they concocted some of their cutting edge culinary fare. They have been hunting wild mushrooms lately and made an excellent soup. Along with that we had vietnamese sandwiches on homemade bread and vegetables from their garden.

I scooted around the show looking for deals, nursing a bad back and a cold that was getting worse by the minute. My thoughts changed from victory to merely surviving the weekend. I managed to load all my crap in and get my lights put up before I hit the wall of physical exhaustion. I tried to find my old chiropractor from Redwood City, James Diaz, but he was evidently long gone. I decided to check into the hotel early and take a nap. I looked all over and couldn't find the Hilton I had booked on Priceline. The valet at the Westin pointed me to it. Lo and behold, it was the same Sheraton I normally stay in that had undergone a name change and a marginal facelift. Took my nap and then went to the bar and had a cup of soup while I listened to a lobbyist banter with a union steward. Loudly and with a generous helping of self importance. Hotel bars are really weird lonely places and the people that congregate there can sometimes lean to the bizarre.

I won't bore you to death with a blow by blow. I bought a nice painting by an artist best known for having his works in mortuaries and old folks' homes. Found a nice set of modern sterling flatware. Sold a painting or two. The pricier one was interesting. The woman said that she really shouldn't buy the canvas because her niece was getting foreclosed on and needed her help.  Then she pulled out her checkbook and said what the hell, 4200 bucks wasn't going to save the kid anyway. I grimaced but took the money.


The consumer base at the shows is showing its age as are we dealers.
Very few clients seemingly under thirty. Of course, the Blue Heron has a theory, which I have probably previously offered up. Robert's dictum says that we reject the art of our parents and embrace the art of our grandparents. The great warm ambience of the twenties and thirties has now been rejected for the plastic and cheap mass market humdrum of the sixties and seventies. The warmth of mother's breast has been overtaken by the reassuring synthetic smell of the plastic bottle  and attendant biphenyl pacifier.

A thirtysomething cohort showed me pictures of his new house the other day. He pointed with pride to the Howard Johnson's style orange front door, with its horrid mass market stamped lion hardware, and the hideous but outre authentic brass pulls in the kitchen which match the pulls I use to have in the double wide I unfortunately used to inhabit with wifey number one.  The indians had a saying that where a man first places his feet (moccasins?) will be his place forever and the reality is that whatever epoch you stepped onto this globe for this great adventure we call life gives you that same feeling of reassurance. Kind of like Stockholm Syndrome I guess, yeah - its a jail cell, but it's my jail cell godamnit and I feel comfortable here. So there is a sea change in taste. Wood is out, big paper lanterns and white shag and Johnny Walker coke trays and badly constructed veneered furniture are in.

I didn't really know what to tell my friend, since there really is no right answer but suggested he pay attention to good construction and materials. Who the hell knows what will stand the test of time? My parents' generation liked victorian and eastlake and that style set is largely dead in the water as well. Things come back around cyclically eventually with a slightly different twist. But one thing no house should be without is a large stuffed wild boar, that goes without saying.

I am a critical person but I appreciate a lot of elements of modernism, Nakashima, Maloof, Esherick, Natzler. I have tried to hitch my horse to the wagon before, if only temporarily. Unfortunately, it tends to be a closed shop, a gay shop for that matter, and whenever a guy of my persuasion got close to the goal or finish line, the line was uprooted and moved to a different location. It tends to be flavor of the month and can get a little tedious, not to mention snipey. Boy, do I sound bitter.

So many of us honestly feel like anachronisms with a definite due date. Young people do not care about art and do not seem terribly intrigued with the past. Beyond maybe early generation video games. Not that they appear to be engaged in the present or future either. I blame television for one thing. Thank god I killed mine. It just leaves you lolling around in so much static. Now who wouldn't want a nice painting of a monkey choking a chicken?

I did, as I said, meet some really neat people. The first guy that pops into my head is the security guard, Bosco. Bosco is a handsome man from Africa. I asked him if he was from Uganda and he stared at me suspiciously, being only the second person ever to deduce his accent. I had dinner with a prominent Ugandan coffee exporter last year and it's not so hard. But he was amazed.
Bosco is a law student who kind of did not want to be photographed in the lowly uniform of a security guard. Incredibly bright and well spoken, with a vocabulary that probably surpasses my own. He has his own radio station and dreams of going back and helping improve his country, probably by running for political office. I would not bet against him. A brilliant guy but young. Married to a Yale student. We were talking about Africa and I mentioned South Africa's Zuma getting caught with a love child from a mistress who was not one of his many legal wives but Bosco shook his finger at me and said it was appropriate behavior for an african male. Viva la difference.

Met a really neat artist as well who was 90 years old. Mrs. E was a lady from Philly married to a prominent Pennsylvania artist. She was the child model for Giuseppe Donato's epic winged justice at the
Philadelphia Court House. She said that she bared her 14 year old bare bosom. She also was a young leftist, not an unusual thing in her day. She described being a teenager at a Trotskyite meeting when the Stalinists showed up and somebody broke a bottle and things got rough. She made an impassioned plea for people to stop fighting each other and go after the fascists and she was asked never to return. It was the heady time of Spain and the Abraham Lincoln Brigade. Fascinating woman, sharp as a tack, still plays duplicate. Wonderful, really.

A Polish guy who I had mistakenly engaged a few years ago that wanted to give me a lecture on why the jews in Poland who got whacked had it coming because a) they kept to themselves, b) were communists, in league with the Russians, c)inhospitable guests, came by and talked to me about Babel and wants to send me some material from a Polish perspective. It was a little tedious. My friend Byron once told me that I shouldn't go around fighting my grandfather's battles.

I was in a mild kerfuffle with an Iranian couple. I was sussing them out regarding the recent hangings of dissidents and the crackdown on the opposition in Persi and they turned out to be loyal Achmedinijad supporters who blamed everything on Israel. I tried to imagine the woman surrendering her american freedom and donning a bhurka. When I brought up Hama, Black September and the kurdish genocide, they were pretty silent. Of course they didn't hate jews only zionists, people have always lived so well together. The real jews, not the pretenders from europe. I decided to save my breath.

Hardly went out to eat. Best thing I had was Chicken pot pie soup from the concession at the show, believe it or not. Went into the city once and got hammered with Dave and Amy. Whiteknuckled like Mr. Magoo on the way back. Ate breakfast every day at the wonderful Christie's in Burlingame, a place run by a trio of Palestinian sisters. Fantastic small town cafe.

Went out to Sushi with a caddie from Pebble Beach who said that Vijay Singh was a prick. Treats his caddies like crap. When he hits a drive there, he says the caddies will mutter Oscar Bravo left under their breath, or out of bounds left as in the Pacific Ocean. Heard some good stories about some of the broads that follow the tour.

Not much else - watched the stupid olympic opener. A flabby three hours of bad native american dancing and technical difficulty. Had a great time as always with my buddy Cam. Didn't drink.

Met a friend who is getting nastily aced out of a 40 year multimillion dollar gig and we discussed going to the mattress rooms and triangulation concepts in game theory. Suggested he watch the first two parts of the Godfather a couple times. Tell Mike it was only business, as Tessio once said. Best of luck, Pal.

Have taken a little shit for my valentine's to the missus. A buddy of mine suggested that I had broke some guy code for being so schmaltzy. Also thought I must have f*cked up in a big way. Had to publicly fall on my sword. No, just being my normal sweet self, sorry fellows....

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Jackson Browne - Rock Me On The Water

Abba

I am going to hopefully write a trip journal tomorrow. It worked out okay and I am grateful for the business that I did do. Okay is the new great. The really best part of the trip was getting a chance to visit my father Amos and my wonderful stepmother, Shela, who takes such incredible care of him. She loves him and says that they have had a wonderful life together. Thanks to both of you. I sleep so much easier knowing that he is being taken care of so well.

I should point out that both of my parents are mighty Bruins. My father warmed the bench with Waterfield but also wrestled and was on the soccer team. U-C-L-A, fight, fight, fight.



Mavericks Surf Contest - 2010

http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/4698634

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Love Song - Elton John, Lesley Duncan

To my valentine

I first met my lovely wife Leslie twenty years ago. I was married to another woman at the time. The wrong woman. Leslie was managing a shop called the Good Karma Trading Company back then in San Diego. She had moved out years prior to Coronado from Detroit where she had worked as a Disc Jockey and Program Manager. She was a part of the famous Idiot Show with M. Dung.  Good Karma was a cool shop that sold eastern objects and concert tickets.

I walked into her store and my heart sunk in her presence. I had never met a more radiant, angelic beauty. Her dark long hair, her perfect fair skin, the most heavenly eyes in creation. I was smitten. Like I have never been smitten in my life. And I am still smitten.

We developed a platonic friendship, she having no interest in a married man, and me at least partly successfully burying my longing and not throwing off any signs of being in a long failed marriage.

Leslie had been wooed by many suitors, including some rich doctor types but had never assented.

Life, as it is prone to do, managed to turn itself upside down and put me out on my street. The ex called it quits while I was on a trip to the middle east. God bless her. I cried and licked my wounds for a few days and then called Leslie up and arranged a date.

Things didn't go so well at first and she thought I was a jerk but my strategy was to show her the bad side first, thinking things could only improve from there. Her mom told her to give me another shot and thankfully she did.

She suggested that I go someplace and get clear and clean and I went to Kauai, hiking into the Kalalau for a week and bathing under waterfalls. She met me in San Francisco upon my return and the rest as they say, is history.

We have now been together for twenty great years. Some of them have been tough, we suffered through a bankruptcy and financial distress, but they have all been great years. We respect and admire each other and she chooses to mostly overlook my many deficiencies.  We are soul mates and mirrors and sympatico down to our distaste for onions and our common love for purple.

Leslie is the rare woman who combines exceptional beauty with common sense and a great mind. She is fiercely loyal and has a nurturing heart and helps many in need.

We have raised some fantastic cats and dogs and developed a wonderful community of friends around ourselves. Things haven't always been easy but we have enough love and respect for each other to make it through the tough times. Back to back, she is the perfect person to face life's struggles with and to enjoy its pleasures.

So I am sad to be apart from her on this Valentine's Day, and now proclaim my never ending love, fealty and admiration. I know how lucky I am to have found a partner for life.

Friday, February 12, 2010

The sun also rises...hopefully

Faithful blast readers know that I love a good quote. Twain and Will Rogers are titanic quotesmiths.  But my new champeen is Hemingway.

I was searching for a quote and Ernie's little truisms just came spilling forth from the display screen like freshly poured cream.

I include a few for your amusement and reading pleasure.

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.


An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.


Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.


Never confuse movement with action.


Never go on trips with anyone you do not love.


The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.


The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.


There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.


Develop a built-in bullshit detector.


The first draft of anything is shit.



Thursday, February 11, 2010

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Mr. Magoo

I left Fallbrook this morning after a hearty breakfast at the Fallbrook Cafe. The sweet owner, Helena, gave me cookies for the ride and wanted to make me a hot sandwich for lunch. Gratis. What a great town.

My back is locked up again, only the sacral pain has now transferred to the left side. Have a variety of lumbar pillows but seven hours in the car driving north was bound to not help things much. Stopped at the Whole Foods on Michillinda in Pasadena for a pee and bought some Cal Mag citrate, which helped last time. Popped a couple ibuprofen and torched a medicinal bowl in the Sears parking lot.

I drove through Santa Clarita and thought about how interesting the land formations are there, with all the evidence of seismic upthrust. Would be such a great area if we could get rid of all evidence of people. All was uneventful until it started to pour buckets over the Grapevine. Passed the gorgeous Vista del Lago at Pyramid Lake. All the hills were green and there was a nice sprinkling of snow near Gorman. My gas gauge was near empty and with minutes to spare pulled off at a Valero Gas Station instead of my normal Flying J at Frazer Park.  Paid exorbitant prices when I realized that I ponied up an extra 25 cents a gallon for gas while I attended to my bladder.

I got back on the freeway and braved the rain which was now coming down even harder when I realized that I was now passing a beautiful lake on my right. Well that's curious. I've been driving this road for years and I don't remember another lake?  I suddenly had the realization that I had been traveling the wrong way and had actually taken the south onramp. So I got to travel the Grapevine not once but three times for a total of an extra 46 miles. In the blinding rain.

Drove up Highway 5 until the Lost Hills exit, where James Dean met his eventual maker. Gorgeous clouds and rainbows all day, only stopped once for a picture and missed some stunning shots because I couldn't pull over. I made it to my inebriated friend Cam's shop in Salinas and will camp out here for the night.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Carry Me


Beach Boys, Beatles, CSNY, the list of premiere rock harmonizers is a short one. Maybe the Band? Who am I forgetting?

Whiney Bob blues

I take off in the morning for the Bay Area. Get to set up on a concrete floor in a large cold barn in the rain and seduce bored eleanor rigbys into buying my wares but really they are there for the walk and it's most probably cheaper than a theater ticket. Nothing feels fresh so I will have to repackage but the threads are starting to show and people seem to want to be entertained with new tricks in some novel way. Hope I can get through the Grapevine and it doesn't start freaking snowing or I go the slow way up the 101 and stop at the greasy spoon in Gilroy because it's my greasy spoon and there is something to be said for familiar ritual, I drive into the expensive gas station because I have done it before and it is imprinted in my neural network and I wasn't carjacked last time after all, my back is sore already and I haven't even sat in the van yet. The electronic doors are broken and it will cost real dough to reboot so I leave it. Still haven't fixed the roof either, if this show sucks and there is always that weird evil feeling that maybe I sell nothing and just stand there and seethe and hate humanity but if nothing sells, I start selling guitars pronto, of course all markets are dead and now europe is going into the shitter as well. And I can always tapdance. Minstrel Bobby's medicine show. Sarah Palin knows how to fix this country like it's written on the back of her hand, I can't wait. Jane M.M. told me last year that I was mixing up it's and its, the former it is the latter possessive and never apostrophied and for that I am eternally grateful. So I throw myself on the mercy of the good lord (lordette) and wait to see if I will be rewarded like a good little boy or get the lump of coal, of course its always my attitude, you are all just bit characters in my solipsistic screenplay. and I need a new agent. Central casting? Will stay in touch unless I get homicidal. Life's jackboot slowly crushes my larynx whilst the cicadas sing their timely ode to reveille. Weeds are growing tall with the rains. Off to the crusades and the sky is always falling.

There is a police helicopter circling my block. It has been orbiting for about 20 minutes. Apparently there is a robbery suspect on the loose. Great Fun! We have had a rash of robberies this past couple weeks, including the Wells Fargo with its particularly nasty teller. Suspect 5'5" tall mexican, mid twenties - somebody said great that only hits about 55% of the town demographic.

I put a positively perverse early piano cut on the blog today from Jelly Roll Morton. Truly raunchy, mysoginist and not for the faint of heart. I pulled it after I heard the whole thing through but not wanting to be a censoring prude, furnish the link and let you make your own consensual choice in the matter. That's how we roll in the vanguard of the new democratic party.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Gary McFarland

Animalzoo

Somebody sent me a link to the cool website urbanhawks. Chronicles the narnian type struggle of the wild animals (non biped type) to reclaim New York City.

Where I live the coyotes are like pigeons but I guess it's all about context. I sent the link to Stan and he sent me another similar link from his friend Cal, birds of central park.

I am a regular visitor to naturalist Monika Wieland's excellent Orca Watcher blog.

I will have to take pictures of the empty hawk's nest in the sycamore tree. All the leaves are gone and it looks lonely and forlorn.  I wonder if any one of the three offspring will come back and use the nest this year. Watching the hawks grow up was the highlight of 2009, not that there were so many. I have seen the juveniles in the valley once or twice in the last couple of months.

It has been steady rain. We invited a few friends over to open a special bottle of wine at the gallery last night but most couldn't make it.  Had a fairly ribald and profane time with those that did. Bit rocky today.

Tracy just sent me another great avian link, Palemale.

This guy of course, is one of mine. Don't believe he was a redtail, he was smaller and showed up about a month after the other four left the valley. Maybe a red shouldered, will have to check.

Saw an osprey several months ago. Outrageous white head with a black bandit's mask strapped across his eyes. Incredibly beautiful bird.

Renee said that these corks aren't really engaged in rough sex because she is still wearing her olives.


Friday, February 5, 2010

Burning Bacon

"Money is the mother's milk of politics." Jesse Unruh


Murtha did it. Lott made it a fine art. Congressional pork feeds are nothing new and an entirely non partisan sport. Alaska led the nation last year with $221 million in earmarks, or $322 per capita. Hawaii, at $302 million in earmarks, ranks No. 2.

But there is something truly audacious and vomitous about Senator Richard Shelby's (R. Alabama) plan to stop government in its tracks over the Obama  Administration's decision to cancel a few wasteful defense bills that benefited his state.

Shelby, a Democratic turncoat turned Republican, clearly shows his treasonous roots in placing a blanket hold on 70 of the President's nominations, an exercise that aims to grind the government to a halt.

He is mightily steamed over the administration's decision to stop a $35 billion contract to allow Northrop Grumman and EADS North America, not Boeing, build an Air Force refueling tanker, as well as the squelching of an FBI explosives testing center that has not been built despite Shelby earmarking $45 million for it in 2008. Of course, Northrop Grumman is a longtime Shelby campaign contributor and the project would provide about 1000 new jobs in Alabama. EADS is a subsidiary of a large foreign defense company that would assemble the parts in Alabama. They have spread money all around the thicket of late, channeling some contributions through the Federalist Group.

Boeing Co. successfully challenged the Air Force's decision in 2008 to award the $40-billion deal to the Northrop-EADS team partly because of allegations that changes made to the evaluation criteria during the bidding process benefited the winners.

He says that "The Department of Defense must recognize that the draft Request for Proposal (on the tanker proposal) needs to be significantly and substantively changed." He is trying to frame it as a national security issue. So it's just a little hometown, parochial, selfish, old fashioned pork roast. Play it my way or I throw a monkey wrench into the gears and no one can play. The podunk Senator from a lard encrusted southern plantation either gets it his way or he takes his baseball bat and goes home. No matter what the experts in the Pentagon say we really need. No matter what sacrifices we all must make to somehow reclaim fiscal solvency and sanity.

Of course, not a single one of his GOP compatriots has called him out as of yet for his obstruction. Same old, same old...




Oink!



Hendrix does Walmart



The Jimi Hendrix estate has allowed the first release of his music in 40 years,Valleys of Neptune. Atlantis meets acid. Ho hum.They plan on releasing the music through Walmart.

The "Valleys of Neptune" collection includes 12 tracks recorded during his last recording sessions while he was working on his posthumously completed "First Rays of the Rising Sun." It features studio versions of Hendrix’s covers of "Bleeding Heart" and Cream’s "Sunshine of Your Love," as well as rerecorded versions of classics "Fire," "Red House" and "Stone Free."

I listened to the title cut and his version of "Bleeding Heart". Not bad. I guess his sister Janie is in control of the whole gig. Hits the stores on March 9th. Will be fun to hear the other stuff.


The following shots are some of the original murals that my longtime pal Lance Jost painted for Electric Ladyland Studios in New York.

We get mail.

An anonymous source sent along this pic of a cool men's restroom in New York.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Feral Beagles Terrorize New York



Tip of the hat to Roy Cohen for this one.

A band of wild beagles is scaring residents on part of Long Island, WABC-TV reports — even though it’s nothing new.

Dot Faszczewski, of Orient Point, was walking her dog, Trapper, when she encountered two or three of them.

“I could hear them coming towards me, it was a ferocious kind of barking,” she said. “I quickly grabbed my dog and came running into the house, just as we got in the dogs jumped at the door. I thought it was just some wolves coming at me.”

The report noted the beagles have been a problem for many years — the result of dogs being abandoned by hunters for failing to meet “rabbit-catching quotas.”

Area shelters have been trying to round up the beagles, socialize and rehabilitate them and find them adoptive homes. Reports of the beagles being aggressive don’t surprise shelter officials.

“Certainly if they’re out in a pack and their starving and their freezing they’re going to become aggressive,” said Pam Green of the Kent Animal Shelter in Calverton. She said her shelter takes in about 40 beagles a year.

County Coroner Richard "Rick" Kluszewski cautioned,"These hounds would put the fear of god in any sane man. Once they get the taste of human flesh, there's no more lethal enemy than a beagle. Give me a good AKC trained bitch and I'd put her up again' a mountain lion."

Residents are advised to stay in their homes and not to try to tackle the lop eared assassins on their own. Apparently masked beneath their cute pint sized exterior is an advanced and very lethal killing machine.

Sheriff Mulloy said,"All my officers receive a minimum of 40 hours in Beagle defense training. This ain't kid's stuff." Residents who encounter the canine executioners are urged to call the authorities at their earliest opportunity.

Speaking your mind

There was a fantastic study published yesterday in the New England Journal of Medicine that I was alerted to by the Huffington Post.  It is titled Willful Modulation of Brain Activity in Disorders of Consciousness and authored by Martin M. Monti, Ph.D., Audrey Vanhaudenhuyse, M.Sc., Martin R. Coleman, Ph.D., Melanie Boly, M.D., John D. Pickard, F.R.C.S., F.Med.Sci., Luaba Tshibanda, M.D., Adrian M. Owen, Ph.D., and Steven Laureys, M.D., Ph.D.



The study took 23 patients in vegetative states of consciousness and 31 that were minimally conscious and gave them a baseline MRI. They then trained them to visualize two specific mental images to answer their questions.

Of the 54 patients in the study, five were able to willfully modulate their brain activity to answer questions.

Here is the abstract of the paper:


ABSTRACT
Background The differential diagnosis of disorders of consciousness is challenging. The rate of misdiagnosis is approximately 40%, and new methods are required to complement bedside testing, particularly if the patient's capacity to show behavioral signs of awareness is diminished.
Methods At two major referral centers in Cambridge, United Kingdom, and Liege, Belgium, we performed a study involving 54 patients with disorders of consciousness. We used functional magneticresonance imaging (MRI) to assess each patient's ability to generate willful, neuroanatomically specific, blood-oxygenation-level–dependent responses during two established mental-imagery tasks. A technique was then developed to determine whether such tasks could be used to communicate yes-or-no answers to simple questions.
Results Of the 54 patients enrolled in the study, 5 were able to willfully modulate their brain activity. In three of these patients, additional bedside testing revealed some sign of awareness, but in the other two patients, no voluntary behavior could be detected by means of clinical assessment. One patient was able to use our technique to answer yes or no to questions during functional MRI; however, it remained impossible to establish any form of communication at the bedside.
Conclusions These results show that a small proportion of patients in a vegetative or minimally conscious state have brain activation reflecting some awareness and cognition. Careful clinical examination will result in reclassification of the state of consciousness in some of these patients. This technique may be useful in establishing basic communication with patients who appear to be unresponsive.

This type of study shows just how far this cutting edge research has come and gives hope for families with living comatose or vegetative relatives.  Also an even stronger appreciation for the breadth of the human spirit and the reach of the human mind. You have to wonder how many lights may have been mistakenly turned off that still were burning and perceiving their world?




Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Vanishing Point


Vanishing Point from Bonsajo on Vimeo.

Devo


There are watershed concerts in every young rocker's life. One of the pinnacles for me was seeing Devo at the California Theater in San Diego in 1980. Full pandemonium complete with concertgoers mobbing the stage and doing swanees into the crowd. Most of the Devo videos on Youtube have crappy sound and this one is no exception.  I saw them many times and you almost had to be there. Somehow this fits into my recent genetic narrative. Enjoy.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Hairless Apes



Like a celt striking off a shard of flint, my dreams of pleistocene parentage have been somewhat dashed. No neanderthal free loaders will be showing up uninvited to crash the thanksgiving meal this year.  I posted the following question to the E M-35 phylogeny haplogroup project on the double helix website and received the attendant response:



azurebird
Nucleotide


Re: INFO: E1b1b1-Unclustered Group


I am new to the whole genetic pursuit and have some general questions. I am a jewish man, kit #167732, an E1b1b1*. I have the 25 marker test and am awaiting my 37 marker results. I only have one exact 12 marker match, possibly two. When I compare genetic matches in Y search, I find that the match 2v3rk, is shown as an unknown haplogroup as is the other unknown, 7bf8h, who happens to be a Cromagnon found in England 256/9. My wife thinks this accounts for my primitive table manners but I am serious. Ancestral State DNA is one thing, but this is beyond old school. Can you tell me anything about my cluster? Do I need deep sub-clade testing or will the 37 marker test be sufficiently indicative of the V business? There is another 8 marker test but the alleles are pretty downstream, y3jqw. Should I infer that I am of an unknown upper paleolithic sub clade? Ug.




UXGVH   Sommers   Plock, Poland    14   25   13   9   16   19   11   12   12   13   11   30   16   9   9   11   11   20   14   20   30   14   14   15   17    
7BF8H   cromagnon   256/9, England                                12                       9   9   11           14   20       14   14           11  (the cromagnon's available values got shifted upon pasting but they do match up identically with my alleles.)


Re: INFO: E1b1b1-Unclustered Group
« Reply #18 on: Today at 10:52:04 PM »
Quote
Hello and welcome to the forum.  


Your 8 out of 25 marker match with the haplotype labeled cromagnon in Ysearch is interesting but I don't think we can rush to make any conclusions until we know if these values come from a real sample and what does the cromagnon label mean?


Ysearch is now known to have a lot of made-up haplotypes and any matches you find there have to be taken with a grain of salt.  On the other hand, if you look for matches in our project's database you can be pretty sure that your near matches are indicative of a possible common ancestor.  Please go to the following page and in the genetic distance box (step 3) select 5 and then click the Show button (step 5)


http://www.haplozone.net (page deleted for privacy)


Among your near matches are several gentlemen who have been tested as M34 positive at 2 and 3 steps, which allows us to predict with a high level of certainty that your haplotype belongs to the same clade (E1b1b1c1*-D1) as them.  The D1 suffix attached is an in-house cluster designation developed by Elise, that help us to further classify or group similar haplotypes by their allele numbers.


So, to answer your question, I think your 37 marker upgrade will only confirm what we've seen so far and no deep clade test is necessary at this point.  Your wife can rest assured that indeed you're a modern 21st. century man.  Welcome again!


Victor


postscript: found another cromagnon sample with a lot of similarities tonight 2/3/10 Just a coincidence I am sure:

 Comparative y-DNA Results

User IDLast NameOrigin3
9
3
3
9
0
1
9
3
9
1
3
8
5
a
3
8
5
b
4
2
6
3
8
8
4
3
9
3
8
9
|
1
3
9
2
3
8
9
|
2
4
5
8
4
5
9
a
4
5
9
b
4
5
5
4
5
4
4
4
7
4
3
7
4
4
8
4
4
9
4
6
4
a
4
6
4
b
4
6
4
c
4
6
4
d
UXGVHSommersPlock, Poland 14251391619111212131130169911112014203014141517
CJWJ5Cro- Early Europeans900/9 Q and T across Western Europe and Americas, Italy 13101291114141415

 Comparative y-DNA Results


Postscript II 2/04/10 - got my 37 marker alleles back today. Dinosaurs and cavemen have sort of vaporized off my match chart like gorillas in the mist.  Have one exact match, a fella up in Seattle, all the way through all 37 markers.


In comparing 37 markers, the probability that ------- and Robert Sommers shared a common ancestor within the last...
COMPARISON CHART
GenerationsPercentage
483.49%
897.28%
1299.55%
1699.93%
2099.99%
24100.00%
The researchers have told me that there is no further need for deep clade testing. They are confident that I am an E1B1B1C1* D-1. As if you hadn't already guessed...

Monday, February 1, 2010

Sunday Stroll at the Farmer's Market

A purple haired girl with a pretty smile.


















The little princess, un chien francoise.





Tired little staffordshire.



Trying on hats with the ladies.