Thursday, February 18, 2010

More mail

Robert DeGoff sent these along.

Being Jewish...
Q:  What is a Jewish ménage-a-trois

A:  Two headaches and an erection.

Q:  Why did Adam and Eve have a perfect marriage?

A:  He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't  have to hear about the way his mother cooked

Q:  What business is a yenta in?

A:   Yours.

Q:  How do Jewish wives get their children ready for supper?

A:  They put them in the car.

Q:  What is the technical term for a divorced Jewish woman?
A:    Plaintiff

Q:  What does a  Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long?

A:  Nothing at all 

Q:  Define "genius"

A:  An average student with a Jewish mother

Q:  If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?

A:  A fur coat

Q:  What do you call the nipple on a Jewish wife's breast?

A:  The tip of the iceberg

Q:   What mechanical device causes the most arousal in a  Jewish woman?

A:   A Mercedes 550 SL convertible

Jewish proverb: "A Jewish wife will forgive and forget, but she'll never forget what she forgave."

One of life's mysteries - how a 2 Ib. Box of chocolates can make a Jewish woman gain 5 lbs.

Another of life's mysteries is when a Jewish woman hangs something in her wardrobe for a while and it shrinks two sizes!

The trouble with some Jewish women is that they get all excited about nothing; then they marry him.

A Bar Mitzvah is defined as the day when a Jewish boy comes to realize that he is more likely to own a professional sports team than he is to play for one.