Monday, November 19, 2012

Goodbye Baby

 I guess that I should cover the topic that everybody seems to be talking about, the demise of Hostess. I am not going to pretend that I am, or have ever been a Hostess power user. But I can not lie, I have certainly dabbled with their wares.

My mother was a healthy food person long before it was fashionable and Wonder bread or balloon bread as it was known in many households, was verboten in our pantry.

Our sack lunches were always on whole wheat, along with a sour macintosh or spongy and bruised red delicious and the requisite carrot or celery sticks.

I longed to have one of those Donna Reed type smiling moms that would drop a drakes cake or snowball in the bag but it just never happened. I looked at my friends and their hypersweet and manufactured lunches with envy.

I never did the twinkie thing or the hohos in adult life. I hardly ate any of the hostess products except for a mere handful The fruit pies, mainly the cherries swimming in their thick, gelatinous amniotic fluid, the powdered donuts and of course the cupcakes.

The hostess cupcake was the flagship of the line and I never lost my taste for them. Chocolate cake with a creme filled center, nice little white icing loops decorating a frosting top. Pretty much the perfect junk food. And they came in a convenient threepack because two is just never good enough.

I breakdown for the threepack about once a year. You have to hide the evidence and not leave it in the car or you are totally busted. Important to not let them see you walking over to the trashcan outside because women just have this way of knowing  everything you have ever done.

I will miss the cupcakes and hope that the brand rises from the ashen grave like some confectionary phoenix.

The guy who runs the joint has had a pretty sweet ride the last several years, Tripled his salary when they went into their second bankruptcy. Nine other employees received massive pay raises as well. Sounds like a little Romney style harvesting to me.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

There was no up-side to my genetic kidney disease except one. Fiber is forbidden and wonder bread white is prescribed. Honestly robbie, balloon bread makes it almost worth it.