Monday, January 7, 2013

Ship it.*

I was trimming one of the fruit trees when the rain started back up and I had to quit yesterday morning. The chain saw wouldn't start, it is one of the new Stihl homeowner models and it is almost impossible to figure out. The ideograms on the machine are completely nonsensical and I felt like an archaeologist trying to decode egyptian stelae or the Codex Nuttal. Fired once and gave up the ghost. Not smart enough to decipher.

I gave up and went to my new Corona razor action pruning saw, which is a little beast and more satisfying then a power tool anyway. Cuts like butter. Anyhow I was getting wet and I went back into the house and tried to get into the new book for the tenth time but it is written in an archaic form of middle english and all the forsooths were getting to me, verily they were, and I saw that I was getting a little batty and stir crazy. Body ached from sloth.

I suggested to the wife that we take a drive out to a local indian casino and engage in a few games of chance, something we do maybe once or twice a year. We called one of our favorite couples and they suggested that we meet over at Casino Pauma.

It was a gorgeous drive and I cussed myself out for leaving the camera at home. The cumulus giants were monumental, strong and beautiful and stood out proudly in the intermittent breaks of sunshine. We were accompanied on our voyage by a series of lovely rainbows that lent a nice splash of color to the orange groves and native hillsides.

I had never visited this casino, a bit smaller than its local brethren and maybe a bit more low key as well. Not really a big devotee of indian gaming. I am a black jack player, a very good one if I may say so myself and seem to find my proper focus at the Venetian in Las Vegas.

As we approached the casino I noticed a full rainbow directly on top of it, surely a good sign. I told Les that there had to be a pot of gold waiting for us inside.

All of my mates are slot players and I thought that I would humor them and play a twenty before I found my way to my preferred games of chance. The monkeys lined up and I won a couple hundred, dropped forty or so more back before I took my leave.

There is a lot of cigarette smoke in this casino and I wandered to the back to get away and saw some people playing a table game called Ultimate Texas hold 'em. I am not much of a poker player but thought that the game looked like an interesting diversion.

I explained to my table mates that I was a rookie and asked for both their forbearance and a little advice. Folded at the improper moment a couple times, played strong once or twice when I should have stayed weak.

But this is a cool game. There is a position on the board called trips, a side bet. You get paid for trips and higher, up to fifty to one. But you actually make your money in this game on the play button. Can bet pre, flop and river.

I once had a pit boss tell me (we were at a saloon in Del Mar if you want to know the truth) that if you don't change your bet, the casino will soon have all of your money.

In my experience he is right. I have a habit of pushing my bet every three of four hands, especially after a string of losses. I had fifteen dollars in all four positions when the quad sevens popped up, paying off a little over six hundred bucks. The probability of quad sevens is about 1 in 595. Thank you, poker gods. One of my table mates said that perhaps they should start taking lessons from me.

I like this game!

Don't ever eat at the Casino Pauma buffet. Worse then Libby's Cafeteria, the beef dish bore a remarkable resemblance to cat food. Just awful. I know, for nine bucks, what can you expect but this was like corn and beans out of an industrial tin.

The desserts were a tad better, marginally good bread pudding and a blueberry pie that was interesting. But don't even try, take my word for it.

* Ship It  - Same as "send it." Phrase exclaimed by the winner of a big pot. Most often exclaimed via the chat box of an online poker game. Has sarcastic, obnoxious overtones and could infuriate your opponent!


Ken Seals said...

Try fresh gasoline in the chain saw. And not from the gas can that has been sitting there for a year or more.

Blue Heron said...

Tried that first off. 32 years on the farm, I have learned something. Thanks, though. Will fix my old echo chain saw, which I can still understand.

Anonymous said...

My managers hubby fixes sthil
Deli man