Greater Egret

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Mail Call

My favorite part of the blog, your contributions!

Gary Lang sends over this shot of a man walking his balloon.

Vickie sent along a shot of her son Ryland Zweifel surfing on the North Shore. Ryland is from Santa Cruz and I hear that he shreds.

Jerry's son Max Hall just got his black belt. Congratulations, Max!

Ike's insane new speaker set up he is custom building.

Helen is on a wonderful trip in Asia. You can follow her always interesting writing and travels here.

Bob Degoff sent these over. Stop me if you've heard them.
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes . ;ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget.ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?WITNESS: We both do.ATTORNEY: Voodoo?WITNESS: We do.ATTORNEY: You do?WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.____________________________ ______ _________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid

Nancy Javier's Cimilar Cinema. Reviews films about immigration.

Melissa shares a link to what looks like a great restaurant to try in Alhambra.

Robin Adler, Dave Blackburn gigs for June.

Drew sent this over - Mainly Mozart call for amateur musicians.

Another joke from DeGoff:
A woman happened to be following a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson while grocery shopping. The grandfather certainly had his hands full with the child who continually screamed for candy and cookies. But, the grandfather spoke in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be long, easy boy."
The boy continued with the outbursts and the grandfather calmly said : "It's okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, son."
At the checkout the little horror continued his bad conduct by throwing items out of the shopping cart, but the Grandfather remained steady and said in a controlled voice, "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes, stay cool William."
Very impressed, the woman walked outside to where the grandfather was loading his groceries and the little boy into the car. She said. "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William certainly is lucky to have you as his grandfather."
"Thanks," said the grandfather, "but I am William. This little bastard's name is Kevin."
Ron and Lena recently returned from the big island and shared a few snaps.

Ron at Painted Church

My brother in law Andrew and my niece Brook visited me in Fort Worth. Great to see them.

Keep those cards and letters coming, folks!

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