Jelly, jelly so fine

Saturday, July 29, 2017

Regroup and move on.

I'll be out of commission, on the road for a while. Yearly trek and all that. Good time to take a break I guess. Maybe the red rocks and pinyon will clear my head? Been sick since I got back from Canada, not to mention heartsick.

I guess I miss my brother's voice more than anything. Tough knowing that I will never hear it again. I was always there for him and he was always there for me and that's it. The rest of life's trip will be post Buzz.

I am amazed by the number of good people and friends that tell me that they wish that they could understand how I feel but that their relationship with their siblings was only so-so. I feel for those people, I really do. Guess I was lucky. Or maybe my close relationship with Buzz was unnatural, we just went through too much heavy stuff together.

My mother, for all that I bag on her, taught us early that people were more important than things and we all got that. Important to love your brothers and sisters, stick by them until the end. I have been so blessed, with family and friends. Thank you, one and all. Not ever having had kids, I guess my friends became even more important to me.

I made up with a sister while up in Canada, best thing that happened to me. So glad that is over. Forgive and apologize while you have the chance. You will feel better.

The normal thing, almost three weeks out, is to forget about a tragic loss and move on. I wish I could. But things are getting better. Haven't cried for a few days. Thanks to those of you who have been there for me. For the few that were derelict, can't handle that sort of thing, well I will remember that too.

I keep taking posts I can spare off the blog, I don't want my brother's eulogy to disappear off the bottom. Isn't that silly? It will happen eventually but I'm not ready yet.

I knew a year ago that this was going to be the toughest year of my life, it just played out too quick.

Later. Robert

© Mike Reardon 2017