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Polar bear with carrot

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Unleashing the Furies

Queen Calafia and her Amazons - Maynard Dixon
Interesting news story this week about the two army reserve women suing the government for excluding them from certain ground combat units on account of their gender.  The women say that females are already in the combat zone but discriminatory policy is keeping them from getting the arms training that they need to fully protect themselves. This they contend is actually dangerous. And they probably have a point. But there is probably a very good and simple reason to keep females out of combat - women are just too damn mean.

Remember the catfights in junior high and high school? Girls unleash a savagery unknown to men when they are going at it. Hair, earrings, scratching it is all fair game. I would sooner have my (hypothetical) children watch the bloodiest MMA fight than an average schoolyard brawl between women.

Why do you think the african lionesses do all the work hunting? Not just because males are lazy, it's because they are perfect killing machines. Stick women in combat, synchronize their periods and you have a lethal fighting force that could make Sergeant Fury's Howling Commandos look like the evening tea group at the Little Sisters of the Poor.

A buddy of mine has a son who has been a prison guard at both the men's and women's prison. He prefers to guard the men. Dan tells me that after the men have a scrap it is basically over and done with. However if the women have an altercation he says that it goes on for literally ever. They never forget. Forever. Til the end of time.

Is it fair to unleash a bunch of estrogen imbalanced amazons on an unsuspecting world? I can only guess at the depths of their savagery. I broke a nail. We are going to take out Russia today. Hell hath no fury and all that...

So let's just back up and rethink this women in combat business. Might qualify as cruel and unusual punishment.

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