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Raven at San Jacinto

Thursday, February 1, 2024

DeGoff of the day

 

I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness.
I've started investing in stocks: beef, vegetable, chicken. One day I hope to be a bouillianaire.
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. Now that's humerus.
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. Now I have Heinzsight.
Did you know muffins spelled backwards is what you do when you take them out of the oven.
I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes. I turned to a local tribal leader and said, "That lizard is really funny!" He replied, "That's not a lizard. He's a stand-up chameleon."
I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork. I thought I nailed it but nobody saw it.
Singing in the shower is fine until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera.
The Black-Eyed Peas can sing us a song but the chick peas can only hummus one.
How much does a chimney cost? Nothing, it's on the house.
My friend said she wouldn't eat cow's tongue because it came out of a cow's mouth. I gave her an egg.
Once upon a time there was a King who was only 12 inches tall. He was a terrible King but he made a great ruler.
My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables. That's right...Jack and the beans talk.
I was struggling to understand how lightning works and then it struck me.
Six cows were smoking joints and playing poker. That's right. The steaks were pretty high.
I went to the paint store to get thinner.  It didn't work.

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