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Last light, Stone Steps © Robert Sommers 2023

Saturday, October 28, 2023

Can't be too perfect

I had gone to the new doctor in July, in the midst of the immunotherapy treatments. 

He had me run a full set of labs but I was feeling so miserable back then that I never was able to go over the results with him. 

I finally had my follow up this week.

The nurse took my blood pressure, height and weight.

"Don't tell me, I don't want to know."

She started asking me questions. "Was I ever depressed?" 

"Sometimes, who wouldn't be in this often miserable world?" 

"Did I own a gun? Was I suicidal?" 

"Wait a second, what is all this for?" 

She explained that the insurance company required answers for their annual wellness exam.

"Well, then let's start over, I said." She assented.

"No, no, no, no no."

Perfect.

She then gave me a cognition and memory test. I was looking forward to it because I have a fairly extraordinary memory. She gave me five objects to remember for ten minutes and I started reciting number sequences backwards. Did some simple cognitive tests, all the square objects fit perfectly in the square holes. Aced it.

Then she asked me to start naming animals and not to stop until she told me. Aardvark, anaconda, alpaca, albatross... I kept it going pretty well and am confident that I named some animals that other people have rarely if ever named, gibbon, gerenuk, serval, etc...

I kept shpieling and showing off and she finally told me that I had to stop, they were way over the required total and we simply had to move on.

Teach her to ask me a question like that...

Doctor came in. All the lab results were good, platelets, blood count, renal function, etc. We were both very pleased. Of course, the bad cholesterol was too high and the good cholesterol a smidge too low, a problem shared with many others. I told him that I would try to up my red meat and fat consumption and heard him quietly groan.

More butter... For the gerenuks.

2 comments:

Ken Seals said...

Glad to hear your results were good :-) They start asking those questions when you are diagnosed with a condition called O L D.

Blue Heron said...

I’m so happy you are staying true to yourself!
On your file, they have now noted, “Do not test this patient’s memory again.”
Priceless.

Debbie