Medical report

So, as I said a while back, I have started a new drug regimen for my bladder cancer. I have been waiting for this new drug for about a year. There were twenty nine people in the initial drug study, it was reported that twelve and a half percent had serious side effects of one kind or another. I was the second person to get the drug after the study group, the first left the office about ten minutes before I got there.

Yesterday was my third once a week infusion. The first one was relatively trouble free, but I noticed some serious differences with the BCG I have been taking all these years. They put a clamp on your penis, apply lidocane and then through a long tube pass my severely enlarged prostate and inject the medication into my bladder. If I am lucky I don't get a UTI. Lucky so far.

Last week was terrible. With BCG I expelled the agent in a couple hours. This stuff is a gel that never leaves. I believe that it was absorbed into my gastrointestinal tract and has since caused me serious difficulty. 

I had a four o'clock meeting last Thursday, the day after the application and I was seriously thinking about checking into the hospital at 3:36. I am not going to get into the minutia but it was extremely painful. I ended up throwing up in my trash can at work for about an hour.

When I got to the doctor yesterday I told her about the problems and she offered to stop the drug but I told her that we needed to try it another week at least. After forty two years with bladder cancer, I would like to think or hope that one day I can get off this cancer roller coaster. Who knows?

I altered some of my behavior or customary practice yesterday per the doctor's instruction and things went relatively easily. Hematuria but not much else.

Today however, was different. At about noon, the nausea and malaise set in and I had to go home and lay down. Bought some ginger ale. Felt whipped.

It is typical for me, the effects of these long sequences of chemotherapy or immunotherapy are cumulative. In three weeks I should be a total basket case, that is if I can make it through the rest of the scheduled visits.

I blind opened the I ching, or Taoist book of wisdom this morning before work. My eyes fixed on a second line, I didn't even read or notice the particular hexagram.

Severely wounded, you need to rest.

I'm going to pay attention.

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On the bright side, I have registered as a volunteer at a cancer resource center in Temecula called Michelle's Place. I told them that I want to do phone work and mentor new cancer patients. I think I have a lot to share with my long experience. We will see what happens.