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Polar bear with carrot

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Last Call

Cooper © Robert Sommers
I had a minor realization this morning. A couple really. They both had to do with getting older. I realized that I am older now than my grandfather was when I was a kid. Kind of strange. And no matter how old we get, we were all the "kid" once.

Of course I look at both my dad and my grandfather's many achievements and accomplishments and I feel sort of like a schlubber who has never done much and doesn't know much either. When you are a kid you think you gain some special wisdom with age. Still waiting.

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My wife got a facebook message last week. A girl she hasn't seen in close to forty years, lives somewhere in Micronesia. A professor. With breast cancer.  Leslie offered to come to Los Angeles and be next to her during her surgery. She had no one because her family was on the east coast, Leslie didn't want her to be alone. I am proud of her but there was never any question. When the chips are down she is rock solid, always has been. A great friend, a great partner. So I have been batching it for a couple days.

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Alone with the burmese cat, I have been looking for minor acts of rebellion to celebrate my newfound independence. I started off with a pint of an ice cream flavor she abhors, vanilla bean, she being an exclusive devotee of chocolate. Could never do it to the partnership. Left the toilet seat up and hair in the sink just because I could. Have not yet drank milk out of the carton but there is always tomorrow.

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Speaking an age I have noticed a strange thing occurring with a few friends and acquaintances. My chiropractor is retiring, going to catch up on the free life he gave up thirty years ago when he got his straight gig. Needs to see the world a bit. Another friend's husband is ditching her for life on his own in Mexico. What do they have in common? They are both turning sixty real soon. Is that when the post midlife crisis kicks in? My god, my life is slipping away and my due date approaches and I have to go make something of my existence before it's too late. Or something like that. I don't see my life falling into that pattern, have six years to find out, mainly because I have tried to live my life on my own terms, at least as much as I could. And not having kids, never really had to grow up. Thank god.


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

kudos to Leslie.

Sanoguy said...

How come you are showing a photo of Cooper and talking about getting old???

Did you see my note on the Shutters site re: my having worked with Bill a long time ago.

grumpy said...

mega kudos to Leslie.