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Polar bear with carrot

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Chapter 14, where I post as an intolerant, morally relativistic, secular humanist and enrage the good folks on the other side of cyberland.


                                              Penitente Crucifixion, New Mexico c. 1920's.

I have been naughty. I have strayed, lord. I am ashamed of my behavior. And I guess I should fess up. After the Brit Hume dustup wherein he offers Tiger Woods the Get Out Of Jail Free Card if he will only dump that fat old fraud Buddha and come to Jesus I embarked on a little web surfing and landed on this interesting website called The Admonition.

Now these people and I operate on far different worlds, although we are both english speaking and I believe air breathers. They seem forthright and sincere and I will not attack their parentage or their beliefs here, since I think that they are genuine. Suffice it to say that I wrote some comments that many here might find offensive. Seriously. And if I did offend you, I hope that you will find it in your persons to forgive me. I have a penchant for hyperbole and exaggeration, as we all know.

Donald, one of the authors of the blog, actually just posted to one of my blogposts and has graciously extended the olive branch, which I readily accept. Shannon, the main blog author also wrote something incredibly decent, especially after the Sommers' frontal nuclear attack.

One of the commenters on the blog wrote this incredibly hilarious story about the television show the Golden Girls being responsible for rampant homosexuality amongst american youth. I am not sure if it is meant to be read tongue and cheek but I really don't think so. The author, Stephenson Billings, is either a brilliant satirist or the most latent queen you have ever encountered. It is just oozing from his every conflicted pore. This post will take a while to load but the comments are precious.

Many of my blog readers are religious, some are even pastors. I treasure all of my readership. Thanks for continuing to read and thanks for being good sports in the face of my own particularly twisted point of view.

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Robert,

fun to read, glad you are taking a point of view I agree with out to the front lines. One of my thoughts on the general issue was sparked by reading Frank Water's Book of the Hopi long ago. It was a new thought to me, in my revulsion about the atrocities committed by the Spaniards in the Americas, to think that one reason that the conquered peoples rose up with the Spaniards against the Aztecs was that the religion of the Spaniards was so much less coming from fear (of the gods destroying the world without a constant supply of human sacrifices) than the native religions. Here in Thailand the moderating influence of Buddhism on a population still ready to rise up in deadly mob violence at a moments notice is not lost on me. Even the Bedouins before Mohammad might have been more violent, I don't know much about that. Our own American history shows the terrible things we have been willing to do and are still doing, I'm all for more Unitarians and Quakers........I think the position of the Jews and the Tibetan Buddhists as exiled and dispossessed peoples has had a greatly moderating influence on their excesses and xenophobia, maybe we all need to change countries every few generations?

The real question that I think about from my expat position is how to reconcile the two streams of American culture that are so at odds. Any ideas?

Happy New Year and regards to your saintly (yet salty) wife.

ricardo

Anonymous said...

Hey, if these guys and all the suicide bombers are gonna be in Heaven already, how much fun could the place be to hang out in anyway?

Shawn

Anonymous said...

GOOD NEWS ROBERT! I THOUGHT YOUR SHADOW MAY HAVE BROKEN THROUGH IN AN ATTEMPT TO BEFUDDLE THOSE OF US WHO GLADLY FOLLOW YOU INTO THE DEPTHS OF RADICALISM.

L

Anonymous said...

I cannot believe you gave him your blog website!!! FCC is on you right now.

Anonymous said...

Where do you find such "Golden" wisdom?

Anonymous said...

This guy makes me want to puke. His replies to you give me the willies; I can almost hear a voice that sounds like HAL.

I’m proud of you Robert.
T

Anonymous said...

Did you see Donald's blog? I wonder why christians need so many guns?

See you in hell....

TF

Anonymous said...

nice rant, thanks for sharing...

G

Anonymous said...

This is why I'm going to hell...

I'll bring the music............nice job Robert

TRZ

Anonymous said...

Hear' Hear' Robert.

Fucking Born Again Christians are the most dangerous people in the world. They are forgiven. Therefore they can do no harm.

And I have to blame them for the current Muslim problems as well. It all started around 1096 when the Muslims captured Jerusalem from you guys.

The bloody Christians just had to stick their noses in it.

And that area has been screwed ever since.

Of course this is a very simplified way of looking at the problem but I still think if the Christians had stayed home our history would be a much different thing.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for saving my soul. I shall immediately give up my pagan ways to bask in the forgiveness that only comes with the JESUS 
brand.

jh

Anonymous said...

YOU are a nut case for writing to that idiot.

Go back to the local scientology joint for an afternoon.
You cannot talk to a fundamentalist.
The Muslims and Christians have a particular form of fanaticism that is based on conversion to the 'true word.'
There is no regard for 'others.'
All religions preach this in one way or another. In the end, even the Buddhists fall off their path and chop each others' heads off.

Looks like Chomsky was correct. It was the first time I ever saw this written. It is in his collection of interviews titled '9-11 and other writings' published soon after 9-11.
I cannot quote because I gave the book away. I would have given away thousands of copies if I had the money, and not because I am a big follower (I only know one person who admits to liking what he says.)
Basically though, he stated that the highest concentration of fundamentalist thinking is in the US. Not the middle east. It was said in the context that it was and still is, our Christian based politics that led up to the hatred by the middle east of the west and in particular, the US, and that unless we accepted it, and were willing to base our actions on taking responsibility, the hatred would continue.

This is a holy war. It will continue until each side destroys itself or we wait it out for a thousand years or so until a new faith enters the scene. This Christian thing has been around for a long long time. It is evil pure and simple. Judaism is slightly less so. Islam is disgusting. Buddhism is a form of masochism (I am not worthy.) It is all a bunch of crap.

And the worse part is, one cannot talk reason to anyone who believes anything written in the 'good books'. They are out preaching the word of god and pointing fingers. I love the justification of the killing of babies (the first born sons as I recall?) as the word of god.

(to be continued) S

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

(continued)

Fundamentalists believe that man once lived in the ideal state and that he fell from 'grace' and that it is man's job to return to this state (heaven/garden of eden ya da ya da.)
Progressives believe that tomorrow is another day to attempt to make life a little bit better.

That is how I see it...a split between backward thinking and forward thinking. The backwards thinkers have a lot to lose and a lot to hide. Look at those idiotic comments you pulled out their hats.

fund
a
mental
ist

I think the revolution came and went and we missed it.
The Christians are damned good soldiers. They have beaten down anything that has ever challenged their way of thinking.
The Jews are terrible soldiers. They suck at contact sports. Ever see a yid playing Sunday football on tv?
We are supposed to be merchants for a reason.
The Christians are supposed to guard the gates of heaven with assault rifles and a damned good job they are doing.
They frighten me more than the Ay-rabs. Ok, maybe not...since they are all the same.

What will happen to non believing Jewboys after everyone else has gone on to the promised land?
When that day comes, I am heading to Walmart.
I will pick up a set of the latest Turbo Tax tutorials and become an accountant. My clients will be art dealers, particularly the tribal ones who have spent their lives liberating artifacts from the Christians who were out to burn them.
If there are any artists, (I sure hope so) then I will do their taxes for free.
There are a few atheists and even some agnostics who are cool and can stay. I will do their taxes too.

s

Interesting to me at least, is that in my limited experience, the only Christians I have met who do not follow the 'convert or be damned' path are the mainstream black churches. The Southern Baptists etc....they appear to be content to comfort their own and nothing more. I like those people. What they do is no one else's business AND they have GREAT music.

Even John Cash fell in...born again and dead. Hope he is happy in the afterlife where he is jamming with Elvis on their matching J 200's, the hummingbirds on the pickguards replaced by little angels.

S

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Christians blow.

C.

Anonymous said...

"to sneak off to public parks for quick releases with hairy men of different ethnicities."

Sounds good to me.

C

Anonymous said...

Why in the hell would you send this? I don't get it, Hume's voice and reasoning sounds like he's had a stroke or is drunk or something, is that what I'm missing? Is Fox News really that fucked up?I don't watch Fox because it doesn't have very good local coverage and the graphics and look of the show are sort of amateurish. I prefer CNN for national, BBC for international because they have the hottest babes and show cleavage.

Anonymous said...

I saw this on Sunday and thought what the fuck is the matter with this idiot, then I remembered I was watching Fox news which of course is idiot central!!

M

Anonymous said...

Behold the pile of bile being bestowed upon Christianity, in response to a genuine act of concern and caring. I commend Brit Hume for his gesture and hope that Tiger can get his life and his game back on track.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you can work at a soup kitchen in Kona. It's personally your fault that people are starving, especially in Fallbrook. White people destroyed Hawaii's culture, as they have done with every other culture on Earth. Karl Roves dad was gay. Gays hate soup kitchens-not so much for the free food, but for the tacky atmosphere. Republicans prefer soup kitchens that allow tax right offs for donations. Jesus was not a vegetarian!!! And he made wine without a permit. Bob Dylan's favorite soup is Chicken Noodle. Abraham Lincoln had a Jew name. The self righteous Jews illegally arrested Jesus and the blood thirsty Italians snuffed him. The Grateful Dead are not as good, now that Jerry Garcia is dead, and all the other band members got what they deserved. Tiger Woods is a Black Asian golfer. Tigers wife is a Swede, and like all Swedes is suicidal and deserves to die. Is he a well hung and a shy polite sex addict? Obama is also half black. He must be a sex addict too. Most Americans laugh at San Diego and Southern California's plastic people. Irish people are drunks. People who drink support the Liquor Industry which is responsible for soup kitchens. Soup kitchens are endorsed by Acorn. We need more Mexican gardeners so we can learn Spanish from them. Then we can screw them on wages in their own language. Worried about global warming-buy another blanket. Arabs and Mexicans look alike until they speak. Both should learn the American language better. Maybe we should have Tortilla Soup kitchens for illegal aliens.


kkk

Anonymous said...

Brit Hume has something in common with Tigers girls. He collects his checks from the most hateful televison pimps on Earth. Maybe he could be a good Christian, quit being a whore for FOX, and get a legitimate job.

Anonymous said...

i like the bit about Jesus making wine without a permit

Anonymous said...

kkk's 9:50 a.m. comments were hateful and ugly; no need telling you to go to hell, you're already there.

Blue Heron said...

I don't speak for kkk and I don't censor a lot of people, unless they are plain dumb. I believe that those particular comments were meant to inflame and I let them roll off my back. Might be a window into his or her real soul.

As for me already being in hell - well, I guess that solved the transportation problem...

Anonymous said...

Robert

I'm not looking for salvation. I know there isn't any, anywhere. Being a Cultural Anthropology major taught me that every culture and every religion ever born on Earth thinks they are the shit and no one else counts. That's why I don't like organized religion at all, especially when they're real estate moguls like the Catholic Church, or a front for suicide bombers like the Moslems. All I try to judge people on is what they do, I don't care what the justification is for doing it. Actions are all that count. Perception means nothing when you're being blown to bits by some fucked up teenager trying to score his virgins in heaven. That's why I try to watch people's hands instead of listening to what they're saying like in a good street fight, not that I would know anything about that.

k

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

I'm right there with you Robert! Raised christian but never had the stomach, nor the head, for all that superstition & hypocrisy.

W

Anonymous said...

your turning into the anti-christ.........

Blue Heron said...

I believe that you meant to say you're the antichrist, a diminution of you are the antichrist. One is second person possessive, the other a mere contraction.

Beelzelbub

Anonymous said...

i know somebody who performs exorcisms, don't think you're a good candidate though, wouldn't want you to lose your mojo...

Anonymous said...

Bravo robert. love your dialogue with those sanctimonious jesus freaks. i am sick of their call to witness..... brit hume can go bite himself

L

Anonymous said...

BeelzelBob

He'll scare the hell out of you!