Jelly, jelly so fine

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Beats me

You know, I have no idea if it is true or not but you have to admit this is a beaut of a headline.

This one wins the internet. Hands down the best headline of the current President's tenure and there have been so many to pick from. And if it turns out to be false, well it is still one hell of a literary effort.

Who could come up with the piece de resistance, spanked with Forbes magazine? Delicious. Substitute the Weekly Reader, Boy's Life, even Field and Stream, it would have fallen flat as a potato pancake.

When the Steele dossier story broke and the world first got an inkling that the Donald might have a kinky penchant for off beat watersports, for some reason it struck me as more than plausible.

Now we are faced with a daily accounting of secret Michael Cohen slush funds and $130,000 payments to skanky porn stars under assumed names, I'd say this thing is really heating up. And I for one am really enjoying the spectacle.

I was talking about the subject a week or so ago with Vlad and of course one of us, forget which, brought up the Fuehrer, Adolf Hitler's strange cravings in der sack, which were said to be both masochistic and scatological.

He asked me which end of the abuse I thought Trump enjoyed and I said that I thought that he was definitely a bottom. I am not an expert on the subject mind you but I have read both the sleazier books of Anne Rice and the Story of O and the men in power always have some strange need to be punished. So the Forbes magazine thing checks out.

Portrait of Francis Dashwood,
11th Baron le Despencer
by William Hogarth
Of course wild sexual peccadillos are as American as Benjamin Franklin, who was said to have enjoyed a bawdy romp or two at the famous Hellfire Club in London.

You know Trump bitches about the mean old mainstream media but he really has it pretty easy.

We have a fawning right wing media, your Breitbart and Fox News with an occasional Alex Jones nutjob like Info Wars thrown in for spice and then in the center the rest of the MSM bunch which is honestly pretty vanilla.

What we need in this country is an underground press again. When I was a kid we had Ramparts and Evergreen, The East Village Other,  Berkeley Barb, The Door, L.A. Free Press, a Village Voice with teeth. Not to mention Zap, Insect Fear, Mother's Oats, Arcade, all the great comics from Apex and Last Gasp. Now there is nothing. No Lenny Bruce either.

Where is the Paul Krassner of today? Mort Sahl? Hunter S. Thompson? The latter would be ejaculating in his grave for a headline like this one. The mainstream press has gone so establishment, even the branch that is supposedly on the left of center.

I can't wait to see what ends up dribbling out of the Moscow dossier, if the Stormy Daniels affair has legs? But than again it would be hard to imagine a President of the United States hiring a porn star consort when his new wife was still nursing his new child. Couldn't happen, could it?


Anonymous said...

I've always enjoyed the Asshole of the Month feature in Hustler for irreverent political opinions.

Anonymous said...

The portrait of the young woman at todays masthead is beautiful.

Thank you for Blue Heron Blast tapas. I rather prefer bites over large portions.

Great cartoon too.

Oh, by the way..."What we need in this country is an underground press".
What the heck do you call this?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I've always enjoyed the Asshole of the Month feature in Hustler for irreverent political opinions.

Really? Hustler?

"Hustler is to erotica as Etch-a-Sketch is to art."

Anonymous said...

Agreed, but I just enjoy seeing the faces of public figures that I despise placed on a donkey's ass next to an oversized pair of balls. When we're discussing DJT, does good taste actually enter the equation?

Blue Heron said...

good comments tonight, thanks.