Is it unseemly for a grown man to publicly extol and profess his love for something as seemingly ordinary as an egg salad sandwich? This tale, thankfully, is short and there shall be no pictures, as I was directed by my superiors. The principal has sworn me to secrecy and I must abide by his dictates or risk ever dining again on one of his scrumptious ouvre'ry repasts. He doesn't want it to seem like he is playing favorites or be forced to start making these for the common bourgeoisie.
We have lost many things in the past hundred years, knowledge, culture and dignity to name but a few. But tell me, have you tried to find a decent egg salad sandwich in a restaurant of late? As hard to procure currently as a pullet's teeth. You can find one on a deli shelf once in a while, usually bland, full of onion and without any redeeming character whatsoever.
Luckily, I have a certain association with a certain Greek restaurant owner who happens to love me and lets me order anything I want off menu. I don't often ask, not wanting to appear insufferable or be tarred with the public sobriquet of an apple polisher who seeks special dispensation. But there are times the need is simply too great and I must call in my chits.
Last week there was just such a day. He doesn't even cook anymore, for anyone but me and his granddaughters anyway but the owner dutifully carved out a space in his kitchen and went to work. A dash of mustard, a bit of mayo. Slightly toasted wheat bread with his own patented mince of celery and carrot as a sort of textural paste. I won't belabor this, the egg came warm, spilling out the sides, with a stout dill on the side of the plate and a small fruit compote which was also exceedingly good. The sandwich was heaven. Do not ask for the finer details of preparation. After all, I am a glutton, not a cook.
My patron then gave me all the extra egg salad in a sealed cup, both to feed me later and possibly hide the remaining evidence. It disappeared too before I even received my bill.
Something very beautiful about a perfect egg salad sandwich. Bless you.