Morning run - Brush Creek Ranch

Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Reckoning hour

I decided to go back and visit
that guy
I used to be
had to make sure
that things were still all straight with me
saw right off the bat - there's obviously so much more to see
still the functioning parts had the same

The I that was once him sure gave me a start
grabbed me right by the collar
reached straight into my heart
stared me square in the eye
raked me over the coals
my gangering doppel
with the private map to my soul

Skinny little knowitall
knew which buttons to press
where the bodies were buried
all the sins to confess
I was twixted and was turned
pretty much all inside out
a short order inspection
this interpersonal bout.

He asked if I remembered the secret promises we made?
the decisions and oaths that we'd take to our grave,
the many people we loved and the friends that all gave
those folks who appeared in an instant and saved us from pain
who loved and believed in us and picked us right up when we fell
were we appropriately grateful
did we wish them all well?

Did we give as we got
were our measurements fair?
Did we do unto others
did we stop and we care?

I broke from his clutch and now too familiar stare
unruffled my collar and patted my hair

while its true that I'm still
a long way from perfect as yet
have faltered and failed and made many a bad bet
I can tell you I've done my reasonable best
to be me and be you
per the boundaries we set

It was now well past time
to get this guy out of our head
let sleeping pasts lie
be present again
I bade farewell to my shadow
that guy that I was
set sail for the future
and that next guy I'll become.

Robert Sommers