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© Robert Sommers 2018

Saturday, March 10, 2018

Pantless in Fallbrook


Although I am feeling crappy today I decided to look nice for a client that is supposed to drop by.

Put on my spiffy silk shirt and my skinny pants. I was doing the where is my wallet, keys and glasses routine?  when my wife came upstairs this morning.

"You look nice."

"Thanks, Honey!"

"I like your skinny jeans."

"Thanks." The truth is that I am a big guy and these particular types of pants tend to constrict your legs and circulation but it was early in the morning and I had no brook for confrontation so I just decided to run with the compliment.

"Because you have no ass. The Levis look big and shlumpy and they just fall off in the back. These look better."

I was forced to engage. "Honey, you know my ass was shot off in the war. I asked you never to bring that horrible incident up."

"More like the 1980 fart eruption, Mt. St. Robert," she chortled.

Funny woman.

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This is the second time that my pants were a topic of conversation this week with the spouse. She looked at me the other day and noticed the blue stain on my right front pocket where the pen cap came off and stained the faded 501's. I have several pairs like this, slow learner.

"Your pants have a stain on them."

"I know. My pen cap came off."

"Why don't you buy another pair?"

"Because jeans are expensive."

"You'll spend god knows how many thousands on camera gear but you won't buy a pair of jeans? You cheap ..."

Exactly. Because I am living in a bygone era in my mind where now defunct Mervyn's jeans still cost twenty five bucks, which I thought was expensive even then. I sure as hell don't want to spend sixty dollars on jeans.

Besides everybody knows that real men hate shopping and trying on pants.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Not trying to be cute, but I got a decent pair of jeans from costco for 14 bucks the other day.

Blue Heron said...

Please send a picture and a copy of your receipt.

Anonymous said...

You can get 501 jeans at costco for cheap in fact I think they are on sale right now give me your size and I will pick up a pair for you my husband wears them all the time

Charlie and I got in a huge argument over him needing a couple of new shirts for our Alaska cruise it was a big deal finally I bought him a shirt and he liked it


I would never go shopping with him he considers clothes shopping a military expedition "lets just get in and get out" ugh


those last photos were some of your best you should enter them in a contest beth c

Anonymous said...

LOVE Leslie’s humor...

RE

Anonymous said...

Recently find my ass to be missing as well, today I found myself in the Levi's store in the Carlsbad outlet mall. I have discovered that 541s are stretchy and comfortable as hell. Being a 501 guy this was strange. But the shape of the body is definitely changed for me. So I guess the shape of the jeans must as well.
Deli guy.

Blue Heron said...

I actually like the 513, Deli Man. They put some stretch at the top so they feel like you are wearing grandpa's polyester.