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Solar generator, Andalucia - © Robert Sommers 2019

Tuesday, August 20, 2019

Rover Schmuck

We are all humans and we all have our prejudices. Sad but true. Even me over here at the Blue Heron Blast. I admit it. I am beginning not to be able to stand the majority of people that buy, rent, lease or drive black Range Rovers.

I'm over at Ohoris Coffee near Kaune's Market the other day. The one that used to be Capitol Coffee. My go to coffee spot in Santa Fe. I parked in an open parking space and ventured in to enjoy a cup of java and read my emails. Had some time to kill before the show.

I left to go to work and I see that a shiny black Range Rover has parked about four inches from my door. No way in hell to get in, the other side of the van was full, I'm screwed. Parking lot was near empty but no matter, Mr. or Mrs. Important can obviously do what they want. Utter lack of consideration.

Oblivious man could have parked in fifty other spaces without troubling anyone. But no matter. It is after all, their world. And I drive a lowly Chrysler that has admittedly seen better days.

I stormed into the joint and demanded in a rather pissed voice to know which a-hole was driving the sparkling clean, anthracite hued, status symbol on wheels that would probably never touch a dirt road in its entire lifetime. This typical, entitled, thirty something douchebag, looks up in the air with palpable disgust and consternation and finally consents to move his car. Wouldn't even look at me as we walked outside.  I was wasting his very valuable time. Lord Fauntelroy was dressed like a young bond trader.

No apology, no nothing, he just exuded punk ass entitlement from every spoiled little pore on his cross trained, Kambucha laced, millennial body. How dare I be put out? I had embarrassed him at his local coffee shop. It was probably a good thing that he kept his mouth shut. I was in no mood. My anger at his lack of consideration was starting to mix with the serious class envy chip on my shoulder and the results would not have been pretty.

Ran into another black Range Rover at Willy's Arco in Fallbrook here before I left. Young guy going around the pumps because he didn't know what side his tank was on decided to cut me off while I was pulling into #3. Like I didn't exist. Because he could and didn't give one shit about the consequences of his actions. Typical selfish brat. Willy watched the whole thing play out and we had a laugh together at the guy's boorishness. What is with these jerkoffs? Do they make you submit to and pass a sociopathic personality test before they will give you the fob?

And I'm not the first. Google range rover and asshole and see what comes up.

About to invoke the dreaded curse, may your stupid Range Rover spend more time in the garage getting fixed than in your driveway and my mechanics tell me that they usually do. Mess with me, I dare you. You've seen my car, I don't care, I will take serious damage to dole it out at this point. War is declared.


20 comments:

Jon Harwood said...

Once long ago there was a saying, "Follow a Hummer and it will take you to a pre-foreclosure home. If similar forces are at play here AND if a recession should begin the old saying may well apply to Range Rover drivers. This sort is usually leveraged to the hilt and any disruption in income leads to the falling of a house of cards. So, if the angels are with you it is possible that you will be able to zoom past them as they try to get their Yugos past 30 mph. on Mission road

Ken Seals said...

Photos next time please :-) And you know there will be a next time!

Sanoguy said...

This does not apply, obviously to this current post... but.. maybe, just maybe you will write on this subject::

I just heard that Trumpsster is not going to Denmark because the Danes won't sell it to him. He is going to impose a 100% tariff on Danishes as punishment!!

W. Norman said...

One can substitute Range Rover for BMW in the old joke I still love:

What's the difference between a Range Rover and a porcupine?

With a porcupine the pricks are on the outside!

Unknown said...

Check out Downtown Subscriptions for your coffee next time you are in Santa Fe. Way more artists hang out there.

Someone who used to live in Fallbrook.

Blue Heron said...

Do they have a no range rover policy?

Unknown said...

More Strange Rovers than Range Rovers but the Rangers do show up from time to time, sorry to report.

Blue Heron said...

I like the counter culture alright but think they have had some sanitation issues. Been to a few others. The place on the Old Vegas Highway is good.

Unknown said...

"they have had some sanitation issues". Pretty much describes dinning in Santa Fe. It's a minefield out here. Glad you had a good meal at Il Piatto, one of my favorites. Great deal on food at happy hour. Jambo Cafe, A+ as well. Rooftop Pizza/Draft Station side. Great Plaza overlook and the pizza is decent, that's saying a lot for someone raised on the east coast.

Blue Heron said...

I have been going to Santa Fe for so long I can remember when Tiny's served the best lunch in town...

Unknown said...

Wow, Tiny's is still there but pretty much looked over with so many choices now. The Spanglish folks are dying off and I sure miss them! I remember when ordering a vegetarian meal composed of a bean and rice taco with beans and rice on the side. Pretty sure that included lard ... LOL.

Blue Heron said...

When the kids took it over it went to hell. I actually liked the Santa fe version of Little Anitas, Albuquerques was/is dreadful. And I don't think Adelitas is terrible, nor is Mucho Gusto.

Unknown said...

The "kids" took over Shidoni and now that's going under. Young people took over Coyote Cafe, now that sucks, one of the places where I hit a mine in the minefield of "sanitation issues". Will never eat there again and now I hear the same people are going to run Santa Cafe, bad news for sure. A new, well not so new owner at the Teasuque Market, not as good as when Jerry owned it by a long shot. BTW, they opened a Tesuque Market in Venice, Ca. I haven't been to El Nido since it changed hands, heard it was crazy pricey. Overall though Santa Fe is a much better place to dine than it was 30/40 years ago. So I should stop the bitching!

I'm so old I remeber when The Cauldron was a new place in Fallbrook. Also volenteered my help at DeVine Cafe that had a short life but lived long as La Caseta.

Unknown said...

Great chatting with you. And thanks for your patience and non critical responses on my spelling and punctuation. I'm highly dyslexic (yes, I had to look up the spelling) and I didn't run my comments through the usual spellcheck channels. So I'm sure I sent you quite a few misspelled words.

Off to the Plaza

Richard

Blue Heron said...

Your spelling looks great, all good. thanks. I will never go into Coyote again, last time was so bad...My friend Brett did the menu for the Devine cafe. I ate there a couple times. My ex worked at Finnegans. Are you the Richard that used to be friends with Brett?

Unknown said...

I am that Richard and hope I'm still Brett's friend. Brett also made the sign for DeVine. Say hello to Brett for me please next time you see him. He told me about your blog. I'm pretty sure I met you back in the late 70's very briefly. I think you had a camera, sure that nails it. ... LOL

Blue Heron said...

We did meet long ago. Will tell him that we talked. I met another old friend of his from Rainbow at the show last week, Charlie Hermann. All the best.

Blue Heron said...

I sort of accosted Brett way back when for slightly ripping off Rick Griffin for that sign and menu. Funny. Later I introduced him to Rick.

Unknown said...

It's a fine line between being influenced and inspired by others work and ripping them off. I hope Rick Griffin and Brett hit it off.

Blue Heron said...

They got along great, became good friends.