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Nocturnal battle

Friday, October 2, 2009

Teeing off on Ted



Terrible news out today that employees at the cryonics lab in Arizona that houses Ted Williams severed noggin have been playing t-ball with the poor guy's dome.  A former executive at the Alcor Life Extension facility said that technicians were using the splendid splinter for batting practice, reportedly hitting close to .400 from the right side of the plate.

Williams was never in the best of humor, antagonizing even his own fans in Boston.  If and when the perennial batting champion ever wakes up from his icy purgatory, the perpetrators better make themselves scarce pronto. Reportedly the cranial fungo session was conducted with a monkey wrench.  I am sure that Ted, a purist, would have wanted wood, preferably hickory or ash, to be used for his post season batting regimen.

No truth to the rumors that the guy hit a frozen rope.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes but it was a craftsmen wrench

Sanoguy said...

Monkey "wench"???????????? That offers some very interesting visions!!!!!!!!

Blue Heron said...

I stand corrected, sharp eye. Thanks for that, Mike. Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my left handed monkey wench...

Sanoguy said...

Don't start looking in my closet!!!

Anonymous said...

I lost $5 over you…. I thought the Ted Williams was bogus………… !!! Truth is stranger than fiction indeed…………………

Joe K

Anonymous said...

I'm beyond the capacity for rational thought...

and smiling a secret smile.

rc

Blue Heron said...

The story gets slightly weirder today - supposedly the first swing was designed to knock off an empty tuna can that had frozen to the slugger's head. Don't ask...

Anonymous said...

I wonder if there is going to be a huge lawsuit and the lawyers will get some M.I.T.geek to electronically hook up Ted's head so he can testify?