Black crowned night heron © Robert Sommers 2023

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Untold treasures

Got this email today and will see how it pans out. A chinese version of the old nigerian letter scam?  I encourage Blast readers to send in their own creative replies to these types of requests and I will post them.
你現可電郵給我:Giggs King@


I found your contact particulars in an E-mail address guide that was provided to us here, as I desperately needed an urgent help to do this deal. I hope my e-mail meets you well. I am in need of your assistance. My name is Capt. Gerrald Giggs King of the Engineering Unit of US Military here in Baghdad in Iraq; we have $15 Million US dollars that we want to move out of the country. My partners and I need a good partner out there, someone we can trust to receive the funds on our behalf. It is oil money and legal.

We have made arrangements with a Diplomatic Courier Service that will move the funds out of Iraq as a Family Treasures, also we have made arrangement to transfer the said fund through Bank of Baghdad depending on what you want.

The most important thing is; "Can We Trust you"? Once the funds get to you, simply take out 20% as your share and keep the remaining 80% for us.Your own part of this deal is to find a safe place where the funds can be sent to, ours is sending it to you safely.

If you are interested I will furnish you with more details upon receipt of your response and contact details. But I can assure you the whole process is simple and we must keep a low profile at all times. I look forward to your reply and co-operation.
Best Regards,
Capt. Gerrald Giggs King.

Dear king, Hot damn. The whole thing just sounds too good to be true. I don't normally respond to this sort of thing but being as you're from the U.S. Army and all, I'm guessing you're okay. Fifteen million sounds like an awful lot of dough, Captain. I get 20%, you get 80%, who gets the last 10%?

I am still trying to make bail after the tire shop caper but don't want you to question my reliability whatsoever. We only can check our emails once a week at the prison but maybe I can cut the guards or trustees in for a piece since soon we will be swimming in the greenbacks. Anyway you can float me a couple hundred until the big payday? For smokes and some clean underwear?

This thing will be hush hush and on the QT. You probably hear this a lot and I don't want you to think I am making fun of you, but your "gig" is safe with me, Captain Giggs. Semper Fi. I am confident that you picked the right fellow. How in the hell did you find me anyway?


Calipatria State Prison


Anonymous said...

Shawn's missive:


Please Do accept my sincere apologies if my mail does not meet your personal ethic. By introduction, I am Roland Fabrice
a Fund Manager with SOCIETE GENERALE DE BANQUES EN -RCI (sgbci) and I handle all our Investor's capital Project Funds which
enables me to divert 1.2 Percent Investors Excess Return Capital Funds to our Magellan Trust Funds Account I would love to
build up a solid foundation with you in time coming if you can be able to help me in this business proposal. Listen, the total sum of £9.7 Million GBP Pounds (Nine million seven hundred thousand GBP Pounds) I Hoped that you will not betray this trust ,yadda, yadda....

Yours sincerely,

Mr.Roland Fabrice

Dear Mr. Roland Kind Sir Fabrice,

Your supreme apologies are accepted! My ethics are fine and by happy coincidence, I too, am a fund manager. I work at the Bangkok Branch of Thai Farmer’s and Military Wives’ Savings and Loan. Can you believe it? What are the chances of that? I’ll get right to the point. I would be most happy to use my bank to assist you in all matters for your connivance. Regarding your work with Investors Excess Return Capital Funds and your Magellan Trust Funds Account; I would love to build up a solid foundation with you too! The total sum of £9.7 Million GBP Pounds (Nine million seven hundred thousand GBP Pounds) would probably draw attention coming into my personal account all at one time, but I think I can solve this problem by running it into the accounts of various Central African associates in whom I also have utmost trust. I would really appreciate it if you can keep this proposal entirely to yourself as I want to keep things quiet until such time as we can break open a bottle of bubbly together! Listen Mr. Roland Kind Sir Fabrice, I do not want anything to interfere with this most glorious business transaction for the benefit of our families and Nations, so I must explain; I am a bit of a ‘birder’ and only have about 12 more species to bag until my lifetime-list is filled! I have been invited to a very exclusive shoot in the Canary Islands this weekend and will be flying out on my corporate jet early Friday. Thereafter, I may be out of e-mail contact until I have bagged one of each of the seven-colored canary species disingenuous to the islands. This may take a while as three of them (Blue-collared, Red-breasted and the Green-toed) have only been sited twice in the past half century and one of those was by an observer who has since been shamefully discredited! Anyway, you can now proceed as soon as possible to send the funds to my associate’s accounts and, short of another terrible ‘Dick Cheney Incident’, we’ll do our split when I return. Okay, wish me luck (especially on the red-breasted…seeing as they are tongue-less and therefore can not sing, it can be very hard to spot them in the mangroves - this could take weeks!). By the way, perhaps after this is all over you would care to join me as my guest, flying in the corporate jet of course, to Borneo for the Christmas Holidays! I find it quite appropriate to bag my final, an introduced species (the Romanian Partridge) in a Borneo Pear Tree on Christmas Day, preferably before sunrise. How about that for a finale! If we aim well we might just get a pear sauce already basted on the bird! What a thought!

In fondness and with a joyful heartfelt greeting to your family and goats,
Mr. Shawn Mayes

Mr. Shawn Mayes; C.E.O. & V.P. of Creativity and Tuna fish (On 3rd Thursdays only!) - Thai Farmer’s and Military Wives’ Savings and Loan, Bangkok Branch Account # 637-2756-283-5

PS. I have a great deal on some ‘up and coming’ energy market shares, should you or your associates be looking for safe and very lucrative returns! Minimum returns of over 300% on investments of just U.S. $600,000.00!
But again, PLEASE DO NOT TELL ANYONE ELSE! I’m saving this one for my “special” friends!

WildBill said...

OT, but regarding Jean Baptisto dos Santos:

Check this out...