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Puffed up Peregrine

Sunday, September 18, 2022

Ride out the apocalypse in style

I saw an ad out of the corner of my eye for a luxury bunker

For a little under $10 million dollars apparently, you can weather the coming nuclear ragnarok in high style, presumably while your peers are dissolving into radiated liquid masses out there on the streets and/or engaged in MadMax style social cannibalism.

This massive fallout shelter includes all of the standard “UPGRADED” amenities: bullet resistant doors, NBC air filtration systems with blast valves and over pressure valves, double counter with sink, shelving for food storage, water pressure pumps, showers, water heaters, grey-water evacuation tanks, grey-water evacuation pumps, 12 volt LED lighting, solar generated charging system with batteries for back-up power, 12 volt TV/DVD combos, infrared security system, fresh water inlet, 120/240 volt inlet, staircase w/ handrail, painted interior and exterior coating/corrosion protection.

I don't know about you but the whole deal seems a bit misguided and short sighted. What will a beautifully decorated concrete box buy you but a ringside seat on the Titanic? How long will your food supply last and do you  think that you will have any chance of ever growing something again in the coming nuclear fall out?

What will the fancy expenditure buy you? Most of your family and friends, not to mention the people who helped you amass all that gelt, will probably be toast. Would it be worth it to be the last y chromosome standing, now entrusted to carry on the human species?

I think that I will opt for the demerol liquid morphine shot in the hip. Had one after an early surgery and I was riding on a big soft marshmallow in la la land. Make it quick and make it easy. Personally I would miss my peeps, see no pleasure at all in being the last rich guy standing.

3 comments:

Liz said...

I totally agree with you. I remember when we lived on 54th st (you must have been about one or two). At least one of our neighbors (an optician who was a member of the John Birch Society built one. It must have really affected mom and dad, because I was probably in 2nd grade and remember talking about it with them. They hated the idea of course. Funny what you remember from a young age

Blue Heron said...

Dr. Alan Liker, actually a very nice guy.

Liz said...

Wow! Not sure how you knew that