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Oceanside Pier, thirty seconds

Sunday, May 3, 2020

Survival rate calculator

Worried about your chances against Covid -19? I think you probably are in great shape, relatively speaking. The awesome www.ncov2019.live has a handy new survival rate calculator.

You just plug your age, sex and preconditions in and presto! According to the tool, I have exactly an 8% chance of getting out of this thing alive. I top off the mortality index on the chart, it simply says go buy a plot and some flowers and don't dilly dally.

So as bad as things get, you can go to sleep tonight at least knowing you will at least outlive me if this thing is accurate. And if you want to buy an extra life insurance policy on me, I am cool with that too, no hard feelings.

8 comments:

trendmongers said...

i'm at 5.15%. wanna race?

Blue Heron said...

Shit, I didn't think that was possible. Wouldn't give you a nickel for our chances. But we have showed these bastards before. Perhaps we can still have the last laugh and toast marshmallows on the embers of the dying world with the cockroaches and coyotes one day,the day after.

Anonymous said...

Holy Mother. I have a 29% chance of survival.

D

Blue Heron said...

Lucky!

potatostarch said...

Like you'd pass an exam for a policy!

Anonymous said...

I got 30%. I don’t think this is true or accurate. See you on the other side. Remember a day above dirt beats any below.


dg

Willie Makit said...

Mine said 2.65% chance of dying. You know what? I don’t believe that shit for one minute! If I get it, I’m a goner because my wife will kill me for infecting her!
Peaches!

Martin said...

Yeah, I'm at 8% too - but I'm an octo, so I'm not surprised, except that I'm still here...